A Little Cheese with My Whine…

This morning is a little hard.  However I decided to fall asleep last night, I managed to wake up with a crick in my neck.  So as much as I try, I can’t quite look all the way to my left.  A hot shower and a self-applied neck rub has helped a bit.  On the bright side, the chair at work swivels.  I can turn my chair instead of my neck.

Within the next week I will be starting my new position at the new store.  For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently a shipping/receiving clerk for a car dealership.  The owner has built a new dealership in the northwest part of town and I’m moving there to be the shipping/receiving manager.  The warehouse alone is four times the size of where I’m currently at.

So I’m a bit excited.  For one, I’ll be in charge.  Two, there’ll be more money in it.  And three, I won’t have to work with certain unpleasant people any more.

I’m also worried.  First, I will be spending more time away from home.  The commute alone adds an extra hour by itself.  Then, I’ll be in charge.  If something goes wrong, I get to hear about it.  And third, I’m afraid my writing will suffer.  I already feel guilty every time I leave the house to write.  Now that I will be spending more time away from my family, I won’t want to miss what moments I can glean.  I want to be the father that’s around.  I will be at every birthday party.  Anniversaries will always be remembered and celebrated.

So I feel this internal tug-o-war.  On one side is the ability to provide for my family.  On the other, my family and personal goals.  In the perfect world I could sell my stories to make a living.  It’s a hard road to walk right now, but I will continue on it.  In a few years, I have a feeling things will work out for the better.  A little later than I would have liked to have started, but at least I will have the opportunity.

That’s when I will be given the green light to quit my day job for a year to see if I can make novel writing profitable.  I don’t plan to wait until then to try.  That’s only when I can dedicate one hundred percent of my energies towards it.  Who knows.  It could happen earlier.  If what I’m writing right now is a hit, maybe that life could be right around the corner.

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