This morning is a little hard. However I decided to fall asleep last night, I managed to wake up with a crick in my neck. So as much as I try, I can’t quite look all the way to my left. A hot shower and a self-applied neck rub has helped a bit. On the bright side, the chair at work swivels. I can turn my chair instead of my neck.
Within the next week I will be starting my new position at the new store. For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently a shipping/receiving clerk for a car dealership. The owner has built a new dealership in the northwest part of town and I’m moving there to be the shipping/receiving manager. The warehouse alone is four times the size of where I’m currently at.
So I’m a bit excited. For one, I’ll be in charge. Two, there’ll be more money in it. And three, I won’t have to work with certain unpleasant people any more.
I’m also worried. First, I will be spending more time away from home. The commute alone adds an extra hour by itself. Then, I’ll be in charge. If something goes wrong, I get to hear about it. And third, I’m afraid my writing will suffer. I already feel guilty every time I leave the house to write. Now that I will be spending more time away from my family, I won’t want to miss what moments I can glean. I want to be the father that’s around. I will be at every birthday party. Anniversaries will always be remembered and celebrated.
So I feel this internal tug-o-war. On one side is the ability to provide for my family. On the other, my family and personal goals. In the perfect world I could sell my stories to make a living. It’s a hard road to walk right now, but I will continue on it. In a few years, I have a feeling things will work out for the better. A little later than I would have liked to have started, but at least I will have the opportunity.
That’s when I will be given the green light to quit my day job for a year to see if I can make novel writing profitable. I don’t plan to wait until then to try. That’s only when I can dedicate one hundred percent of my energies towards it. Who knows. It could happen earlier. If what I’m writing right now is a hit, maybe that life could be right around the corner.