I think I found another reason why it’s taking me so long to write this story.
It’s actually a little embarrassing. So what better reason to post it here for all the world to see. In a way it’s like pulling back the drapes to let the light flow in and cleanse the place. So here it is. My new novel…
I know, I know. It’s silly to be afraid of a story, especially one that I’m creating. The entire novel is fictionalized, but some could say it’s planted in truth. Really it not. I’m taking an idea that’s been around for millennia and turning it on its ear. If I can convey this fear to my readers, I would all be worth it. So, I’m continuing on for the greater good… My Readers.
Let’s dive a little deeper into this. When it comes to writing everyone has a different style, a different way they approach it. For me, the beginning stages are meditative. No, it’s more than that. When I’m getting to know the characters and their situation, the best I can describe it as is channeling. I’m no longer sitting in the dinner. The din of the cafe and the music feeding my ears from noise-reducing earbuds all melt away. Slowly, layer by word-typed layer, I am emerged into the story.
I’m sure there’s an off-shoot somewhere that would contend it to be automatic writing, the process of someone or thing writing through you. I don’t buy into that theory, but I have gone back to read what I had just wrote and thought, “Where the hell did that come from?”
Do you see the dilemma yet? Here, let me spell it out. When I write my story, I, in a sense, become my story. Now I’m dealing with a subject that makes me uncomfortable. See it? In order for me to write (write good, anyway) I need to open myself up to it. The subject I’m dealing with is making clench up inside. Maybe I should save this for a therapy session, but those cost money.
Maybe it’s like a loose tooth. I can’t stop poking at it until it’s out. Whatever the case, I’m not letting the story get the better of me. It needs to be written, and damn it, I’m going to do it.
So how do I get around this inability to fall asleep because I’m worried about what’s lurking in the shadows? The easy answer would be to write early in the day. That way I’d have the rest of the day to get it out of my mind. If it were that easy. I don’t get time during the day to write. 95% of my writing happens at night and away from home.
So I guess what I’m saying is, I’ll suck it up and write the story already.
How do you get around writing about things that make you uncomfortable? I’d like to know.