Which End is Up?

Have you ever stopped, took a good look around you, and asked, “How’d I get here?”

Often lately, I’ve been asking myself that very question.  Please don’t misinterpret that.  I’m happy with my life as it is.  I couldn’t ask for a better family or friends (well I could, but they would quite matter-of-factly inform me that I’m stuck with them, and really I wouldn’t mind).  Though I’m not thrilled about my job, I don’t hate it.  It’ll take time and some luck to change my profession.  Since I consider myself patient and a tad lucky when it counts, I’m willing to stick with it.  And at the risk of sounding egotistical, I beleive I have the talent as well.

That aside, what I do mean is that the path that led me here was so random, I should have been terrified that I made it at all.  There was no road map to guide me where I wanted to go.  In fact it was more like walking around with a blind fold on.  Eventually I did get “the road map” and figured out where I should be heading.  I even successfully removed that blind fold.  Now after years of following that map, I think it might have been upside down the whole time.

The destination hasn’t changed.  I just feel like I’ve been going about it all wrong… at least for the last little bit.  As I’ve mentioned, I finished the first draft of my novel over a year ago now.  Then life happened for awhile forcing me to shelve things for a time.  I didn’t think anything of it.  After all, I wanted to look at things with a fresh eye.  Then a new story idea hit me.  I started work on that.  Read past blog posts for more depth if you like.

While we’re at it, let’s throw in another distraction.  My wife is pregnant.  We’re going to have another baby.  Stop.  Breathe.  I can handle this.  Sure, we planned this, but the reality still has a way of smacking you in the head when you spend too long in the clouds of La-La Land.  Most immediately. where do we put it when it gets here?

There goes the office.

Where does the stuff in the office go?

The shed… hm.

I see opportunity here.  The shed is now being transformed into an Artist’s Haven.  We’re reroofing, insulating, dry walling, and a/c-ing it.  Most of it will go to my wife’s art stuff.  I will claim a wall for my desk and other such writerly things.  A corner will still be used as storage because the shed stuff doesn’t have anywhere else to go.  Now I can get away from the house without leaving home.  I should be far enough away as to loose wireless net access (trust me, this is better for productivity), but close enough where bathroom trips won’t be an issue.

So maybe it’s not so much, “How did I get here,” but, “Where do I go from here?”  This is how I see it.  I can take all of the road blocks and detours to mean one of two things.  One, I should take this as a sign from whatever deity/universe/happenstance that feels the need to intervene/meddle in my life’s affairs to find something else to do.  I’m wasting my time.

Or two, whatever deity/universe/happenstance is just throwing up obsticles to see how badly I want it.  In which case the only true obstacle is yourself and your determination to get what you want.

I’d like to think I’m in the latter camp.  The things that happen in my life that frustrate me, only do so because what I desire lay beyond them.  I should adapt and carry on.

So how do you handle life’s little happenings?  Do you take it as a sign to cease and desist, or lock on and barrel through?  Let me know and thanks for reading.

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