Curse of a Vivid Imagination

I scare myself more than any movie or book ever could.

Now I’m not talking about the stories I write. Those can get a bit hairy, but I wouldn’t say any of them keep me up at night.

No, I’m talking about the everyday, mundane crap that seeps into my head and sends me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Like the slow build-up at the beginning of the ride, I’ll read something or see something on tv. No big deal, really. Just the steady clunk-clunk-clunk of the chain pulling me higher and higher. Then almost without warning I’m released unto the terror of dips, dives, and loop-the-loops. My mind filled with a train of what if after what if after what if.roller coaster

Is it a panic or anxiety attack? I don’t know. I’ve never tried to receive treatment for it. Thinking about that is likely to cause another theme park attraction-like event.

Oh, and I’m NEVER allowed to Google symptoms of whatever I think I’m ailing from. My mind is incapable of shutting that shit off. It’s walking through a maze of mirrors. Do I have that symptom, or do I just think I do because the online interactive nurse asked me if it was happening, too. And if I don’t have that symptom, is it because I’m not paying close enough attention to my own body to know that I’m on the cliff of YOU’RE ABOUT TO DIE???!!!!!??!!!!!

Not.

Pretty.

There you go. A quick glance of the dark side of an active imagination.

Please turn out the light as you go.

Construction Barrel MonsterI’m tinkering around with the site design this weekend. Hopefully it’ll be a stable site come Monday. Not that it’ll stay wherever it lands, just that I’ll be through tinkering for the moment.

Stay tuned…

Mood Music

EarbudsSometimes while people watching, I catch people bobbing along to a tune. Earbuds lodged in place, there’s no way of telling what they’re listening to. So I try to guess.

First instincts go straight to stereotypes. Teeny boppers and top 40. Punk, rock, or heavy metal depending on the severity of tattoos and piercings.The level of hardcore rap gauged by the droopiness of their pants.

Then I thought back on my youth and what I looked like compared to what I listened to. I looked like a band geek (probably because I was). One might guess me to be on the Academic Decathlon (they’d be right). But what was in my Walkman? Rock and heavy metal (well, what was considered heavy metal at the time).

Back to people watching. It’s more fun to brake past stereotypes. That guy with the two foot mohawk? A Disney Princess soundtrack. That lady in the smart pant suit? Thrash metal. That gaggle of grandmas power walking? Snoop Dog. Yes, much better.

Now a days I listen to tunes that cause spontaneous toe tapping. Things that bring smiles and not glowers to my mug. This is my current go-to playlist:

spotify:user:scgreen19:playlist:45VH3VGsGz9VUHQh4NAdny

It’s an evolving list. As I get tired of a song I’ll delete it, and add new ones as I find them.

I’m also a fan of Ska/Punk. In particular, I love a good Ska/Punk cover tune. And whadda ya know, Spotify already had an extensive playlist for me. Check it out:

spotify:user:billludwig:playlist:0uxgkOIkRVXe2Y8SRto7YM

That’s just a taste of the playlists I have saved. I have playlists to pull me from from a gloomy mood. I have playlists to put me in mind of a character I’m about to write. Playlists to wake up to, and playlist to laugh at. They’re so much easier to make than a mixed tape. Twenty points to those who get that and how hard they were to make.

Do you have a playlist? Share them in the comments. The less stereotypical, the better.

Why I’m Here

I started this blog a little over seven years ago. At the time I didn’t quite know what the focus of it should be. Most definitely it would cover my writing life. You see, I aspire to become a published author. The dream’s still the same, but I no longer have the delusion that it’ll happen over night.

Over the course of this blog’s life, the focus has changed. More accurately, it’s lost all focus. So here I am attempting to correct that.

There are three aspects of my life I want to bring into balance:

Mind, Body, and Spirit

What are the things I’m doing to stimulate my mind, to stretch its learning? How am I keeping my body healthy? And how do I acknowledge and commune with what I feel is bigger than me?

It sounds deep, and sometimes it might be. Many times, though, I’m more inline with Jack Handy’s Deep Thoughts than anything deeply devotional.

I want to share my journey in each aspect. Where I’m succeeding. Where I can improve. And never in a manner that makes it sound like I’m preaching or an all-knowing authority on anything.

My opinions are just that, mine. If you agree, great! Let’s talk about it. If you disagree, great! Let’s talk about it. In either case, I’m putting it out there for whoever to see.

This should bring better focus to The Shadowed Quill. And once it clears up, who knows what we’ll find. Maybe something cool, or maybe just the ravings of a lunatic. Should be fun either way!